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caution: it sucks now but joy is coming...

Sunday afternoons are revitalizing. Windows open and a sweet summer breeze filling the tepid room. The scent of warm brownies in the oven. An afternoon of watching the entire first season of Scrubs. Working on relaxing projects. Anticipating the activities of the week. Sundays are refreshing.
This morning in worship, the pastor spoke about grace and peace. Funny how things come together when God is in control. It's been a rough past few days. Devastating news delivers heartbreak and loss of strength and hope. Wednesday, sitting in my Inductive Preaching class, I received a gut-wrenching text message: "Your government sucks. They rejected me." This low blow devastated me because I knew all that entailed. My boyfriend applied for a tourist visa to visit me in December. Unfortunately they denied him the opportunity to travel here, just travel, because of unjust excuses, not reasons. He lived in the states for near 8 years, following the rules of the US Government and, for the lack of better words, was a model foreigner. Their reasoning was that he doesn't have a substantial enough job where he lives. I'm not sure what they mean by substantial and neither does he. Also, since he spent so much time in the states, he was able to build a good rapport with people and made many friends. They said that since he has many friends that that's a risk for him staying illegally. SERIOUSLY? After all he's done, sacrificed, proved, and changed, you suspect him of breaking the law?! After doing everything you asked him to do, this is how you repay those who abide by the law and do it legally?!!? I am appalled to be quite honest. I've been let down by my government; you know the one that doesn't listen to its people? Or remember how it was founded....hmmm, immigrants from other countries? Yes, by george it was! But should we even care about others who aren't rich, white people? Apparently not. Get with it America! Stop embarrassing yourself. You aren't as great as you think.

I don't normally go on rampages of belittling thoughts and speech. I get angry when injustice is running rampant and I know I can't truly dismantle it. I know I have a voice, but I'm timid to use it because I'm not well-educated in this matter. I don't know the whole immigration policy and I don't know what challenges I'm going to face when we get married down the road. I do know that he's worth it. Normally, I'd go running in the other direction when faced with this kind of overbearing oppression. This is where my stubbornness and independence come in. You will not take advantage of my ignorance. You will not take advantage of him. I will stand up to you.....I'll find my strength and I'll educate myself. I will try. I will fail. I will keep trying. Here's where that whole discipline comes in. I better get with it.

So, fighting the temptation to be bitter and angry against the government, I need to find peace in the situation, peace with God's presence. I'm holding onto this verse: "So be truly glad, there is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while." 1 Peter 1:6.
How true is that? I will stick it out. I'll have moments of tears along the way, but I'll hold out for the joy ahead.

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