Grace Upon Grace

I hate days that make me recognize my own ignorance. This whole transparency crap is good, but on days when I feel like an idiot, I want nothing to do with it. Apparently I'm too hopeful and not critical enough, except when it comes to the criticism of myself; then I can't stop being critical. Sometimes I wish I weren't so relationally focused so I could actually understand what's going on in theological, philosophical conversations. I've always had this problem and people look at me like I'm stupid when I tell them I don't understand. I get so upset with myself because I honestly can't think past a certain point. I need people to break it down for me.....and I'm call to be a minister? How does that work? Aren't you supposed to understand theology and philosophy? What does that say about someone who doesn't understand so easily? I thought I was done with feeling this way. When I graduated college, I thought those feelings of inadeq...

With every intention of immediately coming home after the service to make up for my Saturday laziness, my plans changed after a mere mentioning of one word: holocaust. The spanish speaking congregation, El Renuevo, invited our church to come hear their guest speaker who was a holocaust survivor. First of all, anything dealing with that moment in history is intriguing to me for several reasons. So, as soon as I heard the announcement, I began changing all of my plans for the day. After the first service, Ton and I ventured out for some caffeine rejuvenation and to just chat. We went our separate ways and I then pulled into the church parking lot. I told myself, don't be surprised when you're the only white girl here. As soon as I said that, my friend Allison was walking in. Familiarity is nice, especially when you don't anticipate it. We walked in and the sanctuary was filled with so many faces I never had the opportunity of meeting. I had previously met a few peop...

Listening to the sounds of background music from my ipod, downstairs' voices, and speeding cars streaming by outside, I tried to drift off to sleep fairly early last night, at least early for me. I slipped into bed by 10pm to prepare myself to rise at 4:30am. It has to be something real special to pry me out of bed that early in the morning. My friend Eric, the chronic kayaker, had invited me to go sometime and the only allotted spot this week was Thursday at 5am. Most people would just say, forget it, we'll plan another time. Since I'm one of those persons and I lack accountability and discipline, I said, let's go for it! I've been wanting to catch a sunrise for awhile now. To see that sunrise while sitting in a kayak on the lake is one of the best ways to start a day. I may never own a kayak, but days like this prompt me to look for one... We started our journey with a moonlit sky and traces of stars. Traveling from the phorescent lights of suburbia to th...

I enjoy the challenges of life. They make me stronger and shape me into a better person than I allotted for. I am not the same woman I was 2 years ago. I let down my guard and have become more willing to be vulnerable and transparent. I have become more confident in my relationship with God and the education I have received. My faith has strengthened in many ways and my perspective of humanity has taken a roller coaster ride of transitions. Always I rely on hope. Hope that the situation will get better. Hope that God will provide in ways I never anticipated. Hope that humanity will realize its inconsistencies and pursue God. Hope that will overcome any and every temptation of doubt. Yet, I struggle. My strength isn't strong enough to face the challenges that are thrown into my path. I'm weak. I'm not as educated in certain areas of political issues and government policies that I should be. I see injustice and am so overwhelmed that I don't know how to hand...

creative intentions cousins stupidity is a family trait winding road Women in Ministry baking needs focused frozen life sweet Cuddles twins hard work new love for fall God provides on the horizon worship sunsets stunners tradition skill mi familia growth Oh yes, that's real. I miss that necklace simple smiles the best these ol' keys injustice swing Paoli Peaks Ski Trip w/ Family Ed y Lis, 2007 Foo Fighters Concert So I have a passion for photography. I may not be proficient but I enjoy the opportunity to explore life in a new way.